I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
