So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
third nipple confirmed
My dick has a subreddit
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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