um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
