can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
