Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
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I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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