alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
