Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
the raccoons are back...
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