thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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