just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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