So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
