her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
