So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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