your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
