hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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