So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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