Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
