I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the day after is always just damage control
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
