3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
