She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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