I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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