piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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