oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
