Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
