Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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