I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
