I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
