my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
