a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
