Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
