It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
sex in a hospital.. check
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
