Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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