Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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