remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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