I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
