32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
