note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
my poor anus
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
