Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
A+ Viking dick
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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