I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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