Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
