So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
