Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
