Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
