Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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