Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
