You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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