Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
