She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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