So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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