Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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