I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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