Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
