one two three fourrrrnication!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
