she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Life is so much better after having sex.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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