Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Fuck appropriateness.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
