got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
where are my eyebrows?
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