if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
