Already got asked if we're dating
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
