Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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