I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
